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My Facebook status reads: “Brynna Leslie has a mainline blockage.”

It sounds rude, but if you take the time to read my thread – which the narcissist in me believes that you will – you’ll know I’m referring to a household plumbing issue.

The problem is most people will not take the time to read the thread. Most will simply see my name flash across the screen with “mainline blockage” beside my name. How embarrassing, right?

Maybe not. There’s a new line of thought that the more we do it, the less taboo it becomes. Okay, perhaps this isn’t a new line of thought. I can think of many things that have become mainstream in my lifetime, simply because more people decided to overtly take part: casual sex; binge drinking; and baring cleavage to name a few.

If all of you start – or continue – to write things about your mainline blockages, no one will think less of me for baring my plumbing issues to the world.

And to be frank, your Facebook (FB) friends also want you to write about these things. It makes them feel resourceful. They can give you all sorts of misguided advice on your little problem, because in their minds, your little joke about plumbing is a serious solicitation, a reaching-out, an opportunity for them to step in and save you.

How will your friends do this? Well, depending on your friends, you’ll probably receive loads of information on how to fix your little problem. “Buy Draino,” one will suggest. “Buy a sewer snake,” another will offer.

And then, if you’re really fortunate, your friends will start arguing back and forth in text: “Don’t buy Draino; it ruins your pipes.” And others will offer (somewhat shady) personal anecdotes to back their arguments:

“I used Draino and the acid dissolved the copper and left us with a huge hole. So we had to buy some of that liquid silicone to fill it in.” Not one will recommend a good plumber, by the way.

On and on they will go providing questionable feedback on your little problem. Thank your FB friends for their advice. They will all take it as a personal note of gratuity. In their minds, they will promise to be there for future “status line” problems. If they don’t have the answer, they’ll just look it up on Google. What they do not want is for you to go and research the subject, or to get an expert opinion. They want you to know that, whatever you need, your FB friends are there for you.

This past week, I’ve seen friends counsel each other on everything from how to get a baby to sleep, to constipation, to grieving a pet. And there’s the more taboo subjects (no longer taboo), like how to handle certain sexual acts on a first date (that guy will be horrified as soon as he logs on and becomes your FB pal); how to get rid of pimples in unusual areas; and how to tell your wife you’re having an affair. (This one was very odd. I mean, does the guy not have his wife as one of his FB friends?)

Whatever your problem, big or small, you can get the answer from your FB network. One bit of advice, though: If they don’t provide a book title, the name of a professional, or qualify their answers with “this may not work for you,” you may want to consider doing some offline research. If you’re not familiar with the concept, offline research generally requires reading more than one book (books are made of paper and can normally be found in the library), consulting several experts, and experimenting with caution.

As for me, I called the plumber.